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Monday, January 05, 2004
  worst records

the best things i saw on tv over the holiday were world idol (will was great) and assault on precinct 13, and the channel 4 Top 100 Bad Pop Records thing, which we watched on new year's day. to be fair i did expect to watch the thing with smug feeling of righteous indignation, and lo and behold, i wasn't disappointed. i mean, really, those people. i reckon about 75% of the songs in the list were clearly, undeniably, joyfully brilliant pop records. there were a few - but only a few - real stinkers towards the top. but to see the parade of who-the-fuck-are-they non-celebs making crap (really, really crap!) jokes about some of these insanely over-ambitious, hilarious, shameless, ridiculous, wrong, right, beautiful songs, it was sickening. how do they sleep at night? 'yeah, today was a good day, i got to stick the boot into 'doop,' i looked well cool.' MORONS. and that presenter, nnnggg! presumably someone at c4 made the decision early on that the way to frame this list was to sneer at how truly terrible all the songs were: it was like they were taking it really seriously. MORONS. it was quite upsetting in places, eg when they were attempting to criticise wonderful works of art such as 'no limits,' 'we built this city,' fucking 'barbie girl,' 'WANNABE' oh my god, and 'earth song'***, and cher's 'believe' - you can't go there so don't even try! what in the name of fuck makes these nobodies think they have any place whatsoever saying anything bad about these songs? what do they have against beauty, youth, love, fun? MORONS. ok, ok, right, so it's their 'opinion' is it. ah i dunno fuck 'em.

***actually the single best bit of the whole thing was, after a couple of zombies had said jarvis cocker had made them proud to be british when he mooned michael jackson at the brits during 'earth song,' harvey so solid called him a knob and said he was lucky he didn't get kidnapped. TRUE INDEED HARVEY.

FYI a short list of my particular favourites from the list, i am absolutely baffled that any of these could go anywhere near anyone's 'worst songs' list:

Because We Want To - Billie
Barbie Girl - Aqua
Jenny From The Block - Jennifer Lopez
Earth Song - Michael Jackson
Wannabe - The Spice Girls
Lucky - Britney Spears
Believe - Cher
Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
Girl, You Know It's True - Milli Vanilli
Out Of Your Mind - Truesteppers and Dane Bowers feat. Victoria Beckham
Mysterious Girl - Peter Andre
MmmBop - Hanson
We All Stand Together - Paul McCartney and the Frog Chorus
Perfect Moment - Martine McCutcheon
Doop - Doop
I Should Be So Lucky - Kylie Minogue
Dirrty - Cristina Aguilera
No Limits - 2 Unlimited
Do Ya Think I'm Sexy? - Rod Stewart
We Built This City - Starship
Saturday Night - Whigfield
Ebeneezer Goode - The Shamen
C'est la Vie - Bewitched
Spaceman - Babylon Zoo  
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